Arguing

This is something I shared in my first group that was shut down!

All of us know any relationship isn’t made full of sunshine and happiness. And so does it for any dynamic.

Just because the Dom leads and makes decision? Doesn’t mean the Dom does always do the right thing. Even though he/she thinks he/she does. And it’s not only the leading and decisions making.

Building a bond isn’t as easy as it sounds. You get to meet many dislikes on the way to create the bond. But no one said finding common grounds is easy.

It’s also depending on the Doms and your experiences. He/she might give you tasks where you feel uncomfortable doing them right away. He/she might be wondering what the problem is because he/she is used to it.

Disappointments will automatically lead to frustration and then to agony.

Of course, you will debate and argue at one point.

Me and my sub had months filled with agony and arguments. We have been many of times to the point where one of us was saying “this is toxic”. But we always find a way to find common grounds. Because we both have the same mindset. NOTHING AND NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO BREAK OUR BOND. I call it “we finish what we started”. Just because times aren’t pretty doesn’t mean there is no solution to it. As long as we communicate. And that’s what we do. We forgive and forget a lot to each other. The thing is none of our arguments are truly deal breaker. There’s no cheating what so ever.

She knows I love to kiss during an argument and she knows why. She also knows when I demand her to kneel all of a sudden? She knows it’s for our own good. She knows there are no punishments coming. Mostly I make her kneel to shut her up. Then I place her head on my thigh stroking her hair or the side of her forehead or I brush her hair in absolute quietness. She knows I love to do it. It is then when I decide we need a break from all this stress and it is when I decide to revisit the situation and what brought us there. Asking ourselves if one of us had a bad day. If one of us was already in a shitty mood. We both know the argument isn’t over but we are able to stay calm and not be all upset and frustrated after we had the break.

Sometimes you say things for the wrong reasons. Sometimes you pick up things from the past which you said you wouldn’t pick up anymore.

In those moments it’s the sub trusting the Dom to do the right thing for both of them.

Another thing I demand is to put on her collar. Before placing her head on my thigh while I’m sitting on the chair. Why the collar? Because it reminds us that we are connected and that she is mine and I am hers and that we both are responsible for our relationship and that it’s time to do the right thing.

To people outside the lifestyle this might look strange. But what do I care about those people who don’t understand that our bond is deeper than any other relationship or dynamic. Some never get to experience being that deep.

If you wonder how deep it is? Here’s an example. I felt that she was awakened last night and I asked her why are you up? And she immediately responded. Like I get massages from her at work saying I need to stop being aggravated and for most of the time she is right in that moment.

We don’t need to see or talk to each other to know what’s going on with the partner.

Happy arguing if you ever live the lifestyle. Which I hope you will. Because it’s beautiful.