The end of a BDSM relationship (sub view - from a friend)

ill share something from a friend, an end is never easy, but in the lifestyle, it feels like a Slow death.

i’ve had vanilla relationships before and yes, the breakups are never fun or pleasant but in comparison to the an ending of a BDSM relationship, they are minimal on the pain scale.

Even if it’s for the best, and both parties agree, there is nothing that can prepare you for the emotional roller coaster that follows. As a sub, you feel as if you lost yourself entirely. For so long you followed directions, gave yourself to him, giving him the power to make decisions, even simple ones. And now you’re left on your own, unable to find a path becaus every single one is blocked. Your mind messes with you and the pain you feel actually feels physical, as if someone is taking you and ripping your body in half. There are several stages.

1. Disbelief

2. Sadness/tears

3. Fear

4. Irrational thinking

5. Anger

6. Resentment

7. Longing

8. Feeling worthless

9. Afraid

10. Understanding

11. Feeling hollow

12. love

The thing is....all of this was felt in one day, within hours and days, weeks, months later ....a trace remains. In the lifestyle, we bare our souls to our partners and nothing is off limits. You trust one another, and the Bond is one that is something so strong, so deep, so beautiful but yet , so fragile and dangerous at the same time.

of course, just like with everything. Time heals wounds eventually but the scars never fade. I still find myself driving in the car, and out of nowhere burst out in tears, feeling that same pain in my heart, that I felt the day our journey came to an end. I walk with my head held high and a smile on my face, though inside I’m falling apart and the feeling of abandonemnt continues to tear at my heart until there will be nothing left.

Disclaimer: picture is not mine from google images